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"Coming Out" (no, I'm not gay)


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#1 Tallulah

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Posted 13 January 2005 - 09:51 PM

Just lately I’ve had something of a mind-blowing revelation.

I have Asperger’s Syndrome (abbreviated to AS).

I read a short article about it, and it felt like I was reading a guide to my brain. The more I research it, the more it seems to explain why I am how I am.

AS is a form of “Mild” autism (some people resent the term “mild,” and prefer “high functioning,” as they say there’s nothing mild about AS). It means that I have difficulty in understanding non-verbal communication, like body language, facial expression, and tone of voice. For example, I might recognise that someone is smiling at me, but I can’t work out what the smile means (it is an understanding, condescending, or malicious smile?).

Some people think that people like me do not have the same feelings as other people, but that is not true at all. It just means that I find it hard to express those feelings, or that I do it in other ways. Just because I am not smiling does not mean I am not happy.

It explains a lot of things that I thought were just my funny ways. It also explains why I might be depressed. All this time I have spent trying, yet failing, to be like other people and fit in and make friends. Now I am beginning to accept that this is the way it’s going to be from now, and I don’t need other people to validate my feelings or actions.

Um yes, anyway . . . laugh at me if you like, I probably wouldn’t notice anyway!

#2 mask

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Posted 13 January 2005 - 11:30 PM

((((((( Tallulah )))))))))

Nope, not going to laugh. I think it's great that you have a new understanding of yourself and what causes your reactions. Sometimes labels or diagnoses can be not so good, but this is just the opposite.

And no, you don't need anything to validate yourself. I'm so glad you found this information, it's obviously been very positive.

love,
mask

#3 jillie

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 07:18 AM

Hi Tallulah,

I am glad that you have done your research and found out why you have problems with certain situations. As you say, it removes a lot of the pressure, you can learn to accept yourself as you are.

Have you considered discussing this with your doc? Although autism is not curable, some specialized social training might help you to feel more comfortable in social situations.

Whatever, having a reason for how you feel helps a lot.

love Jillie xxxxx

#4 this is me

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 03:10 PM

(((((Tallulah)))))

I have read some on this (read some as a small, small amount) You are in good company Bill Gates has it as well.

The freedom that knowing something like this about your self can give you is amazing. I hope you are able to come to love you little foibles as much as your DH does. After all we all think your are pretty great.
:wink:

#5 Tallulah

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 07:38 PM

I've thought about discussing it with my GP, but from talking to people (online) it seems that getting a diagnosis as an adult is next to impossible unless you can pay a private psychologist . . . and I can't.

So I'm not certain where to go from here, but I think talking to the doctor would be a good start.

#6 tired

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Posted 17 January 2005 - 05:57 PM

Tallulah

When I was in the hospital once one of the pdocs diagnosed me with aspergers. after reading a lot, there are many things that fit for me but some that don't. I too have a very hard time reading social signals. I tend to think people are mad at or yelling at me when really they are just talking loud, smiles and kind words are usually misinterpreted, i guess the social part of being human is near impossible for me to understand. It's why they think I get along so well with animals, dogs mostly. There is a great book by a woman with AS named Temple Granden (I think that's how the last name is spelled). She talks about her life with AS and how she has worked with it instead of fighting it.

good luck

tired

#7 vamp and a bit of a tramp

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Posted 13 June 2009 - 08:21 PM

I've thought about discussing it with my GP, but from talking to people (online) it seems that getting a diagnosis as an adult is next to impossible unless you can pay a private psychologist . . . and I can't.

So I'm not certain where to go from here, but I think talking to the doctor would be a good start.


Hi Tallulah, I know this is an older thread, but I'm so glad that you've had this insight into yourself. I don't know what your experience has been with doctors, but I have to say I wouldn't expect much good to come from discussing it with yours.

When I learned that I had AS, it was like a light bulb turning on in my head. It helped me to understand so much about my life that had been baffling before. I hope this is the way it goes for you as well :)

#8 BitterGeek

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Posted 25 July 2009 - 03:48 PM

I've thought about discussing it with my GP, but from talking to people (online) it seems that getting a diagnosis as an adult is next to impossible unless you can pay a private psychologist . . . and I can't.

So I'm not certain where to go from here, but I think talking to the doctor would be a good start.



I have AS. The best thing I did was find online support resources for Asperger's. One of the most active support websites is WrongPlanet.net. Feel free to PM me and we can talk offline.

#9 J-H

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 06:38 PM

There is a great book by a woman with AS named Temple Granden (I think that's how the last name is spelled). She talks about her life with AS and how she has worked with it instead of fighting it.


And now there is a bioptic version; maybe a big HBO hit. Or it will be if the young star's mother gets her wish.