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#1 invisiblebutterfly

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Posted 08 November 2014 - 10:06 PM

I joined this site 2 months ago and finally have the courage to post.  I am a 46 y/o female from Iowa.  I'm a Registered Nurse.  I am divorced with 3 grown children.  I was first diagnosed with depression/anxiety 15 years ago.  I had a relapse 2 months ago that was so horrible, I have been doing better but am having a rough day today.  I think a lot of it is relationship issues with my fiance.  I have been on numerous antidepressants, I am currently on prozac 40mg daily which seems to work pretty good.  I also take xanax as needed.  I drank alcohol last night which I don't do very often, it caused me to become very angry and my behavior was out of line.  So now I am dealing with the consequences today.  Most of my relationships have failed because of my low self-esteem and jealousy.  I found a therapist today and have sent an email to set up an appointment, I'm hoping this helps because I don't want to feel and live like this anymore.  I just want to be happy.  On days that I do feel happy it's so wonderful and amazing.  So many people take this for granted and if they've never experienced depression before (like my fiance) they just don't understand it.  It feels good to finally put my feelings in writing.  I am hoping to be more active on this site to give/receive support to all who need it.  Thanks for reading and my thoughts are with you all.....



#2 cp293

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Posted 24 November 2014 - 03:17 AM

I'm new here too, and I know how you feel.  Therapy has helped me a lot.  I'm learning how to pull myself out of the downward spiral of depression before it gets too bad.  Sometimes it's easier said than done because my antidepressant dosage is too low, but if your dosage is working for you then I think adding the therapy on top will really help.  

#3 Judithemu

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Posted 02 December 2014 - 07:19 PM

Hello, and welcome, and I'm glad you plucked up the courage to post. We're not really a scary bunch!


Did you get an appointment set up with a therapist? I know from bitter personal experience that it can be so hard to do, and very hard to get started. I hope it can help you build up towards being happier - you've taken the right first steps, I hope it keeps going in the right general direction for you.


Keep us updated, and hope to see you around.


love Jude

#4 invisiblebutterfly

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Posted 13 December 2014 - 12:48 AM

I've seen my therapist 3x now and she's really wonderful, I'm so lucky.  I also started a new job working 12 hour shifts.  It's actually been really good for me, it's good to be busy and take my mind off of things.  I feel like I'm on the right track and have been focusing on my kids, family and career.  I've accepted that my fiance is probably not the right person for me but haven't had the courage to end it yet.  Depression is so scary because sometimes it just sneaks up on you, I worry this will happen again.  I don't want to feel like that again.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm bipolar because some days I'm kind of down and others I feel great.  I've never had a psych eval, just usually see my primary Dr.  I think I'll discuss it with my therapist.  Thanks for the support! 


Take care all!