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Over the hill !


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#1 Charlene

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Posted 06 August 2014 - 12:59 AM

Hi -

 

I am 77 yrs old and female- trying to cope with loneliness and feeling deserted- I have always had one member of my family I could depend on no matter what but now that is changing he is going his own way and that leaves me alone- can't blame him he wants a life too and I am an obligation he is tired of I think, but that still leaves me alone- I also have these spells where I get very sick sometimes and others when I am afraid I am going to have one of those spells and of course he is the one I look to then-

 

 I have other members of my family but trying not to be a burden on them and then drive them away too- have pets I love and read a lot- knees are bad so don't get out a lot but don't know what I will do without this one person I love so much.

 

I can put this down here but would be ashamed if anyone here saw it!

 

               Charlene

 



#2 Charlene

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Posted 11 August 2014 - 01:24 AM

I am thinking there are not many active people on here- haven't seen any yet but will check in from time to time again



#3 Judithemu

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Posted 11 August 2014 - 07:52 PM

Hi there

 

You'd be right, there aren't many active people on here at the moment. I come by most days but I'm in a place where I don't know what to say to anyone about anything at the moment, which isn't much help!

 

It is a good place to share stuff as people do read it even if there aren't many replies.

 

It must be hard for you to be left alone - as you say, you can't blame people and you don't want to be a burden. Have you talked to him, or has he actually said anything to you, or is it just your impression?

 

take care of yourself, and hope to see you around

love Jude



#4 Charlene

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 08:33 PM

Hi Jude-

 

It is both, and right now I am waiting to see how it works out- I have always believed in God and have prayed abt this many times now. knowing full well He is the only One there is that can help in these times of trouble and hoping He will work it out to everyone's good and to His glory!

 

I do see others that are troubled  here and would like to be able to help them out if I can.

 

                Thanks for your reply!

                                        Charlene



#5 fiona

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Posted 17 August 2014 - 02:31 PM

Charlene -

 

I'm 57 and still very engaged by my work life but I often think about how retirement will be and how I will handle getting older.  At least you have one family member who has expressed concern for you and some others in the wings.  I never married, so have no children, only have one brother who lives a huge distance away and the few scattered aunts, uncles and cousins that I have are not people I keep up with very regularly.

 

I do have a 95 year old mom though and she has taught me a lot about living into your final years with dignity.  She had a younger sister who passed back several years ago now and if I had to point to the difference in their two lives I would say that whereas my aunt lived to clean her house and nag her husband, my mom was always engaged in things outside the home and up until the age of 92 was still driving out and about doing something every day.  Loneliness is a sure consequence of staying at home and not trying to connect with what is going on around you.  I realize that you may have some medical issues that limit things, but don't give up because of that.  Even a simple thing like playing cards at your local senior center, joining a church related group or actually volunteering somewhere one or two days a week would give you some inspiration.  I hope you will have the courage to try my suggestion.

 

In any case.....you can always write or read what is posted here.  It is another source of comfort to know you are definitely not alone.



#6 Charlene

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Posted 24 August 2014 - 07:49 PM

Thanks Fiona-

 

I'm sorry you don't have a close family around you but you seem like an upbeat person and one that enjoys life- like your Mom probably- she sounds like an amazing person and one to learn a lot from.

 

I am still trying but sometimes it gats a bit overwhelming- hopefully my imagination runs wild at times and it's not as bad as I sometimes think! I do love the outdoors but can't do much gardening any more like I used to but have pets and birds to watch so God has given me things to do!

 

Thanks for replying and your encouraging words too.

 

                                                     Charlene



#7 Charlene

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Posted 30 August 2014 - 04:42 AM

Well things are getting rough again and I don't really know why I put this down here- there's no way anyone can really help but maybe it helps just to put it down- I can feel panic attacks building and try and fight them but not much progress if any- I have thought abt pills of some kind but from what I have read here they don't seem to help anyone much they still have their problems!



#8 fiona

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Posted 31 August 2014 - 05:50 PM

Charlene -

 

Sorry to hear things are taking a bad turn.  We all go through that.  Glad I came across as "upbeat", because I definitely have my struggles too.  I'm trying to preserve the belief that there is help out there for just about anybody, but we are the ones frequently that get in our own way to block it.  I like the title of our site..."beating the beast" because it's a beast for sure.  Even so, I'd like to think there is hope for beating it.

 

You say you've thought about pills.  If you can go to either your regular doctor or a psych doctor, don't be afraid of trying it.  Sometimes meds really do help.  All you can do is try and try again, but you've got to have the courage to make the effort.

 

Wishing you all the best,

Fiona



#9 Charlene

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Posted 31 August 2014 - 06:40 PM

Thanks Fiona!



#10 KylieJane

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Posted 08 September 2014 - 12:58 AM

Welcome to the board.  This post sounded like something my mother would write. 

It's tough when you give 20+ years of your life to your kids and then they go their own way. 

I can see why you feel deserted.  At least you left a legacy.  I never had kids or a husband.