I gave up my daughter at the beginning of last year. I couldn't provide her with the emotional and financial support that I believe a child needs. Last year I struggled to conquer a really serious drinking problem. It was like alcohol had become my way of avoiding the pain. I didn't stop until I ended up on suicide watch in a psychiatric facility for serious lacerations I had inflicted upon myself. I had to get 30 staples in my arm. I don't know if I was trying to kill myself or not... Sometimes I feel like I'm watching a movie of my life, like I have no control over myself and my emotions. I've struggled with depression my whole life and it's only gotten worse. I'm no medication but I still have times where I just feel depressed for no reason. I feel like there's nobody I can talk to when things feel overwhelming. I have a lot of anger and pain I hold inside and I don't know how to deal with it. Sometimes I don't even know who I am anymore.
1 reply to this topic
Posted 22 May 2014 - 06:12 AM
Hi Dana. I can only imagine the course it would take to admit to yourself, let alone to others, that you cannot provide for your child. I am amazed by your courage and bravery. At the same time, it seems to me that for a person to come to those realizations, they must be in a situation that they would consider hopeless. I have no experience with alcoholism, but do understand depression and feeling hopeless. This is a good place to vent, ask questions, or just hang out. You can get some real perspective reading the posts left by others in their own struggles. Hang in there. It's often darkest just before dawn. Woundedhealer7 Woundedhealer