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Is anyone incapable of being alone? *some abuse triggers*


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#1 cavy_gurl

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Posted 21 October 2013 - 11:37 AM

I find I cannot be alone. If I am alone in the house I sleep or ill go outside where people are. Sometimes I will sit with my pets, or mass message everyone on my phone so I don't have to be alone with my thoughts in my head. I havent been alone since Adam. He used to lock me in the room alone while he went out. I couldn't use the bathroom and would sometimes wet myself. I would cry myself to sleep and be terrified when he would leave. 

 

Now years later I cannot be alone. My lover recently told me today he wants to only be friends. I feel abandoned and angry. I feel alone and want to cry. I don't understand what is wrong. Is anyone else incapable of being alone. I need someone to talk to so badly. No one is around. No one is home. I just want someone who cares and no one does. I feel so scared. 

 



#2 fiona

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Posted 25 October 2013 - 08:27 PM

Cavy -

 

I know how you feel.  I AM alone.  Have lived by myself for years, no boyfriend, limited relatives, a few friends but no one to really be there when I'm having a panic attack or otherwise feeling especially down.  I keep a couple of phone numbers for crisis lines.  All I have to do is call them and say I need to talk and they are there for me.  Seems kind of stupid but I find that if I just talk out my issues for as little as 5 minutes with someone who is nonjudgmental I can move on from there.  You have to try to look up what services are in your area.  There are suicide prevention lines but sometimes they don't want you to call unless you are really contemplating suicide.  Other times they are fine with it even though it is not an emergency situation and just chalk it up to trying to assist with mental health.

 

Also....it is getting harder for me to find time to be online but if you ever want to set up a time to come to BTB and go onto the chat feature, I'd be happy to try it with you.  You have to be pretty specific about when you want to come on.....down to the time zone to set up a meeting time.  Like....I'll come here to connect on Sunday, October 27 at 4:00 pm EST.  and then check your messages so you can make sure the other party involved in fact got your message to meet.  Let me know if you want to try this.

 

Regards,

Fiona



#3 KylieJane

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 06:59 PM

I have a hard time being alone, but I am terrible at relationships, both romantic and platonic.

Love is agony.  It can be volatile and destructive, like a computer virus.  Love can ruin your life, if you let it.



#4 Ed the chow hound

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Posted 17 November 2013 - 09:46 AM

Kylie Jane.

love can be both constructive and destructive. I guess the ideal is to love but not to extremes. As in all things we need to set limits and boundaries to both love and hate. When I was young I was driven by my emotions and they stuffed my life, now I set limits and feel a lot happier.

hugs

Ed the chow hound

Edited by Ed the chow hound, 17 November 2013 - 09:49 AM.