I find I cannot be alone. If I am alone in the house I sleep or ill go outside where people are. Sometimes I will sit with my pets, or mass message everyone on my phone so I don't have to be alone with my thoughts in my head. I havent been alone since Adam. He used to lock me in the room alone while he went out. I couldn't use the bathroom and would sometimes wet myself. I would cry myself to sleep and be terrified when he would leave.
Now years later I cannot be alone. My lover recently told me today he wants to only be friends. I feel abandoned and angry. I feel alone and want to cry. I don't understand what is wrong. Is anyone else incapable of being alone. I need someone to talk to so badly. No one is around. No one is home. I just want someone who cares and no one does. I feel so scared.