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Even Good News Has It's Own Stressors


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#1 fiona

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Posted 12 September 2013 - 01:40 PM

After 8 long months of looking for work having been laid off from my job of the last 14 years I have finally been made a very good job offer.

 

You'd think I would be jumping up and down and feeling great, but I am instead feeling a lot of anxiety.  I've given myself a couple of weeks to get it together but I know i'm going to have to make some major decisions very soon....particularly about my living situation.  The job is an hour's drive...which some people think is a piece of cake, but I know is going to be very dicey in the winter time (we can get quite a lot of snow).  

 

There are a lot of things which are contributing to a kind of *frozen* feeling like I'm unable to move ahead because I'm so unsure of things.  Hope this doesn't affect me when I get to my job.  

 

Anyone got any suggestions for me?



#2 Patski

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Posted 18 September 2013 - 01:42 AM

Fiona: Although not job related, I have recently had some very positive things happen to me lately, which have absolutely stressed me out! So I understand where you are coming from.

My best advice to you, is like with anything, try to take it one day at a time. You said "There are a lot of things which are contributing to a kind of *frozen* feeling like I'm unable to move ahead because I'm so unsure of things." (which by the way, ten points for the pun! :biggrin: ), so I say, break the list down. It should seem more managable to look at the bullet points, rather than the whole picture. It is far easier said than done, but for me at least, it helps.

So I guess, from my humble point of view, I can offer you two sentiments:

One: You've come this far. You will make it. It will work out, because you will make it work. The anxiety will subside I believe.

And Two: You can only do so much. One day at a time. Balancing and comparing options will be easier when you don't feel like you're staring down a bull.

 

I wish I could offer something more solid, but I wish you the best of luck with your new job and the anxiety! :wtg:



#3 Marvin42

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Posted 18 September 2013 - 11:14 PM

Old proverb: 'It is often better to journey hopefully than to arrive'.  But the journey was made with the intention of arriving, you wanted it, you got it - you may have to work at enjoying it, but it will be worth it.  Every time I start a new job I have trouble believing I can do it well: I know I can, I just don't believe it.  Put the work in and your self-esteem, which must have taken a knock in the last 18months, will eventually recover.  Any chance of living nearer?

 

Good luck,

Marvin



#4 fiona

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Posted 19 September 2013 - 05:52 PM

Marvin and Patski - Thanks for your replies and suggestions.

 

Things are sort of coming together.  I have secured a furnished apartment to live in for the winter only.  The rental is Oct. - May...so that will give me some time to adjust a little and know for sure things are working.

 

I will think in bullet points Patski....that's a very clever way to break things down.

 

Regards,

Fiona



#5 NJCat

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Posted 22 November 2013 - 11:25 PM

Fiona, how's it going? I"m just catching up with BtB now.  I haven't been around, so depressed I lost interest in being online! That's very serious fo me!

Anyway I am currently unemployed, I have been for over a year.  It's my own doing, I left my previous job.  Maybe I'll put this all in a post of my own, but none-the-less I am living off of some money which is just about to run out (a few months) and KNOW I have to find a job. I have not been proactive in finding one, and I was doing well career-wise (from the outside looking in, I was miserable there for a few years).

 

Now I'm afraid I've lost my skills, (I haven't kept up with them, I'm a programmer/analyst computer-y kind of geek!).   I am on my own here.  I live alone, own my own condo, and I've been here 16 years but lately I've been looking at my place thinking "am I going to be here in another 6 months? Will I lose everything?"

As well as being terrified of getting a job, I'm in a bad place depression wise and I don't think I could fool anyone in an interview!  In my field they sometimes give technical interviews.  I'm a little frightened by it all, so I'm hoping that your transition has gone smooth and you'll report back with good news.

 

Carol



#6 fiona

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Posted 23 November 2013 - 12:46 AM

Marvin, Patski and especially Carol -

 

Can't say that things have gotten easier.  The learning curve for my job has been huge.  Much more than I ever could have known.  I thought I was pretty experienced at what I was doing and this was supposed to be more of the same, but I was dead wrong on that.  I'm strapped to a rocket and taking off to who knows where…hope this thing has a parachute.

 

Carol - We share quite a bit of background.  When I was laid off it was from a job I had for 14+ years.  And, yes, I too own my own condo.  I was pretty proactive and it took 8 months to find a job.  There were a lot of close calls but no rewards and I finally got myself videoed by a guy who was a state job service based counselor.  I saw that I came off as a depressed lunk, who had no energy and of course who would want to hire me?  I was still depressed but in interviews I made a distinct effort to spend more time on my dress and make up, tried to smile and joke more at interviews and do anything that would help me look more with it.  I guess it paid off because I landed the big one about a few weeks into starting my new approach.  I wouldn't worry too overly much about loosing skills.  In the tech world the skill set is constantly changing.  No matter what end of things you are on you've got to be in full learning mode at all times.  I'm just beginning to wonder whether I have the processing power any more.  I had to take a certification test this past week and it felt like I put my brain through a blender by the end of it.

 

Let's all hope for sunnier days…..seasonal affective disorder is in full grip now.

 

Regards,

Fiona