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#1 lmgfly

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Posted 24 July 2012 - 06:23 PM

Alright so my boyfriend knows I've been through a rough time. He started having nightmares about me commiting suicide, and so I stopped telling him when I wasn't feeling well. I stopped cutting for a while as well.

Anyway, I'm on vacation now.. its an 11 hour time difference and so I dont talk to him as much but I've started cutting again.

I haven't told him that I've started cutting. I'm starting to feel like I should though, because it's really hard whenever I do talk to him I have to lie and say I'm good so he won't worry.

I guess I'm just looking for advice. If I should tell him or not?

#2 Aine

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Posted 30 July 2012 - 03:57 AM

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. No one can tell you what the "right" thing to do in this situation is, but in my opinion relationships are based on trust. So on your end, you either trust him with this information or you don't. If this isn't something he can handle, maybe you could consider looking into couples therapy or moving on? Sorry I don't have better advice to give, but I hope things work out for you. Take care

#3 pea

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Posted 02 August 2012 - 05:53 PM

Hi,

Such a difficult issue.....
I have been married for 17 years and used to speak frequently with my husband about how I was feeling (suicidal thoughts, hopelessness, etc). I found, after many years, that it was best to keep things more to myself, because he really didn't quite get it, and it just made him worried, and he was pretty helpless to do anything about it. I agree with Aine that trust is key, but you can have trust without sharing everything.
You might want to think about what you and he expect or want as a result of your sharing certain kinds of information with him, and whether that is what actually gets acomplished. You could also talk with him about what and when he feels he needs or wants to know something, and what you feel comfortable sharing. Maybe you two can come up with way to manage the information to suit both your needs.

Pea