Full disclosure: I didn't write this. I found it on the depression fallout boards at http://depressionfal...on#.T9mkLbUW4TY
I hate you. You are undiscriminating and unfair in choosing your targets. You have chosen the most beautiful soul I know and have robbed him of joy, happiness, and love. Why? Are you jealous of this young, handsome, charming, funny, intelligent, caring, sweet, selfless person? Are you so determined to undermine his life that you keep sinking your hooks in deeper, determined to make him miserable and lonely?
You have taken hold of this fine man and have damaged his self-esteem. You dont let him get a good nights sleep, and you drain him of his energy. You taunt him with just enough good days that he isnt sure if you really exist, so he is confused about whether he needs to seek a remedy or if he can just chase you away on his own.
You have stolen from me the man I believe to be my soul mate. You have taken from me my lover and my best friend, and turned him into a stranger. You have done your best to destroy the connection between us and have replaced our laughter with tears. And you have turned our wonderful effortless, endless conversations into silence. You have made him numb so he cant feel for me what he used to, and may not even be able to remember those feelings. Sometimes I wonder if you might even have tricked him into thinking I brought you into his life, even though he knows you were there long before we met. How I detest you.
I am determined not to let you succeed, but as much as I want to, I cant be the one to do battle with you. Thats another part of your cruel irony. Only the person whose confidence and strength you have taken away can be the one to fight you. And he might be too confused or tired to do it, thanks to you. But if he wants you to go away, he must, so I try my best to encourage him to fight you and win. But only he can make the decision to fight. Im helpless. I can stand on the sidelines and try to cheer him on, but because of you he doesnt really want to even let me do that much. God, I hate you, Depression.
I know you want me to give up. You want me to give up on him, and you want me to give up on ever forging a healthy relationship with him. I have to admit, its very tempting. You make it so easy for me to sometimes be fooled into being angry with him, instead of with you. But at the end of the day its always you Im angry with, Depression. Itsyou I hate. And that hatred fuels my determination. So no, Depression, I will not give up. I wont give up on him, and I wont give up on the possibility of a future with him. I may not be able to fight the battle myself, but I will be here for him until he decides to fight you, and until he wins. And it will happen, mark my words. He willbeat you. Because he is stronger than you know.
F*** you, Depression.