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Bad decisions made have made it impossible to have a loving relationship with my grown daughter.

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#1 Grandmaof10

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Posted 08 May 2012 - 06:07 PM

Due to the continual bad decision making by my daughter who is 22 yrs old and has 5 children I have become very depressed and it has caused me to become physically ill. I stay mad and find myself pulling away and no longer wanting to help her in any way because I do not agree that her decisions are for the best interest of my grand children and keeping them safe. I haven't seen the kids in a week and made my daughter move out with them. I miss the kids.

#2 slightlycracked

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Posted 08 May 2012 - 07:19 PM

My family is currently in the same boat with one of my sisters and her children. I, myself, came to the conclusion that helping my sister was actually me enabling her to stay in her negative situation and allowing her to continue her self-destructive ways. And wasn't doing any justice for my nephews and niece either. So I made the tough decision to cut ties with her completely. My hope was that she would pull herself out of the dark place she was at because she may realize that there are less people supporting her bad habits. I don't know if it has worked yet and I miss my kids (her kids) dearly. All I can do is pray. Her kids certainly deserve something better. My mother use to say "If you can't be part of the solution then, at least, don't be part of the problem." I believe I was part of the problem because I enabled her a lot. So I removed myself. I hope other people in her life start doing the same. I want her to get better for my niece and nephews. But all I can really do is pray. I'm sorry that you are going through the same thing also. Its very tough. Im here if you need to vent or talk. ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

#3 Starter

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Posted 17 May 2012 - 08:11 AM

You should understand and admit the fact that she is adult already and has her own family. She decides herself what is better for her and for her children and you may only help her when she needs your help. It is normal. You can not change her.