Posted 15 March 2011 - 05:34 AM
Posted 18 March 2011 - 06:09 AM
Seems to me like most people who struggle with motivation tend to go through phases of being low on energy/enthusiasm, and then sometimes develop a spurt of energy where they try to get as much as they can done before the motivation fades again. I don't know what cyclothymia means, but maybe that's the technical term for the same thing?
I get the impression you're going through a period in life where you're really wanting to understand what the deeper meaning of it all is... Trying to understand how to put it all into perspective, the painful experiences you've been through with the relationship break-up, the emotional ups and downs that you go through. It's pretty hard to feel constant motivation for the day-to-day activities, when you feel a bit disconnected from yourself or from a deeper sense of purpose. It's good to hear that you're functioning pretty well in general though.
I guess I just think that, whatever diagnosis you may get, whatever set of chemical reactions may be going on in your makeup and whatever remedies you end up finding - you will make it through this, and it will go down in history as one of the toughest times of your life - but probably as an important time, one that guides you to learn valuable things about yourself and to grow in ways that you hadn't thought of before.
Posted 19 March 2011 - 04:25 AM
Right now, I really want to just be okay. Have something worth it, seeing a future. I'm always constantly trying to gain perspective because we're all so bias. My life is a pretty good point right now, but its the fact that I can really reflect on what was, have time to let the past finally catch up and confront me, maybe that just what I've needed. Even if its not helpful now, it could be later. But I can really feel what you've said.
My toughest time, no. That will come in due time, because when it all finally becomes perfect. No one or higher power will ever take them from me.
Posted 19 March 2011 - 04:38 AM
As for the past and reflection, perhaps consider a diary or starting a blog here for self-reflection and consider finding a therapist you have a good rapport with. Meds + therapy are the best thing out there at the current time to manage mental illness.
Many people with mental illness do tend to gravitate toward psychology and similar professions, so it is worth doing an inventory of what a life worth living may be like for you. What are your values, goals (short and long term) and are you taking the classes because of your own personal interest in the field because of your mental illness. I would suggest setting up an internship in an area you think you might like to work in in the field and see what is all involve, of course, informational interviews are good ways to gain information about directions to take in your evolving career interests.