Jump to content



  • Please log in to reply
2 replies to this topic

#1 CrossSideTop

  • Members
  • 43 posts
  • Flag:
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Portland, OR.
  • Interests:Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Conditioning, Being a Dad

Posted 23 July 2010 - 05:43 PM

Hey guys... having a kind of off day. Maybe I'm trying to get back into things too quickly. It's been about a month since my melt down. I'm back to reading, watching the news, and even drinking coffee. Don't get me wrong, I'm not having a BAD day... It's just that I'm feeling a little off is all. I watched a program about people who have won the lottery last night, and I don't know... It made me start to feel kind of anxious. For some reason the mere thought of winning myself winning the lottery (even though I don't even play) made me feel kind of anxious\depressed. I can't explain it. Everyone says they want to win the lottery but when I think about it, all I think about is the fact that I'll still have the same problems... I begin thinking about my mortality for some reason and the saying, "you can't take it with you"... I suppose that I'm terrified of getting old and dying. Money wouldn't help that, it would probably remind me of the fact every day. That's kind of the thought process I go through with a lot of things. I spent a lot of my life un-healty, and now being as fitness oriented as I am, I feel like I'm fighting a battle against time that I'll eventually lose. The thought of me being un-able to do the things I enjoy hurts. I just don't understand why I seem to obsess over this. I'm 28. It seems that on days like this everything that happens around me reminds me of my mortality. Whatever... I am dealing with it. I think part of it is the fact that I've been hampered with a stupid toe injury that has kept me from training at the level I'm used to, and on top of that, my alarm didn't go off on wednsday morning (missed my conditioning class), and my wife had a meeting this morning so I haven't trained yet today either. I KNOW that there a tons of people that are so much worse off than me, so part of me gets angry at myself for being so self centered, but I feel like I can't get away from it. I have a friend my age that is dying of cancer, he has a wife and child. He was one of the few friends of mine who has actually done something with himself... Why do I obsess over something that there is no evidence will happen any time soon? Just ranting I guess... I can tell you that I feel better now than I did when I started writing this.

#2 jillie



  • Root Admin
  • 14,074 posts
  • Flag:
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Holland
  • Interests:This is it!

Posted 24 July 2010 - 07:07 AM

Hi Ryan,

Sometimes just writing it all out helps a lot! :P

I think when you are used to regular exercise it is not unusual to get a bit twitchy when you are unable to do something for a while, especially if you are oriented on improving your fitness levels. I find regular exercise does help me a lot to unload my worries and straighten my brain, quite apart from the physical benefits!

I hope you have managed to get back into routine!

love Jillie xxx

#3 dawniedark

  • Members
  • 1 posts
  • Flag:

Posted 15 August 2011 - 04:39 AM

I overate tonight,Im depressed I just don't know how to controll my feelings.