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Feel like running away from it - anxiety levels rising


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#1 rosie8

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Posted 18 April 2010 - 08:27 AM

I have had the Easter Break, and now back to full on work tomorrow - and I am going into meltdown. I am fighting a battle with the local council who in their usual pedantic way are being really petty about the proof info I sent for a reduction and now have sent a huge bill to me. No wonder people think they are red tape obsessed money grabbers. Even typing how I feel is lessening the choking fear that is rising about having to fight yet another battle with faceless authority.

I have messed up about a class tomorrow and have not had instruction what to do from my manager, I am getting so stressed about it now. I know the next 6 weeks are going to be so busy - that I am so freaked out.

I had my some work on a tooth and have a temp cap and I know I have been grinding my teeth at night, so it is very sensitive this morning and that is stressing me out, going back in 2 weeks to have more work done. I am so terrified that I can hardly speak when I am in the dentist chair.

Some friends saw the hit and run car who hit me - parked in the driveway where he originally rammed into me, and yet he denied to the police visiting that house. I rang the police - but the officer I am dealing with is away. argh! I suppose they will say it doesn't prove anything. I just want him to admit what he did and face his responsibilities.

I feel yet again, I have had another holiday staying in,not doing anything, being alone and studying. Feeling like a very small person raging against the world and fate - who seems happy to keep throwing sh*t at me. Now its back to work tomorrow I am freaking out - yet it will break the self enforced isolation.

#2 Sunshineinmyface

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Posted 18 April 2010 - 10:49 AM

(((((((Rosie))))))))

If you run away you can come live with me ... :?: :?:

I send you strength to keep at the money grubbers!!

I am sorry you are feeling all of this anxiety and fear.

Sounds like the dentist is just about done with the tooth if you have a temp cap. Can you get fitted for a bite plane to stop the grinding? That will keep causing you problems if not attended to, believe me, mine caused a filling to crack and that led to a need for a cap. There are bite planes in the store here I use that are plastic that you heat in water then place on your teeth so they are form fitting, cheaper than the dentist, but they are called mouth guards. I use to love it when the dentists had gas....what a pleasant visit to the dentist that was if they had to do some work and started with some gas to relax you.

Why can't another officer take the information about this hit and runner and check it out while the offically assigned is gone? Buggers!! I bet that guy who did the hit and run is a lying ass and will keep lying - double bugger!!

You probably needed to pull in and isolate over the break to recharge your batteries. Congrats on getting all that studying done!!

big hugs for you!!
Sunshine

#3 rosie8

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Posted 18 April 2010 - 05:19 PM

Thanks SunshinePosted Image I was so paralysed with fear when I wrote that post. Would love to visit the States again! lol Thanks for your brill words as usual.

I took the dogs out in beautiful morning sunshine, then read a bit on an old book of mine - Women's Bodies Women's Wisdom by Christiane Northrup - and it bought back memories of when I last read it in my 30's when I felt full of self discovery (yes I was a late developer) and I felt somehow empowered instead of playing the victim. I am sick of managing each crisis with panic - I am going to take it all fighting.

I am beginning to fit into that defeated groove and its wasn't always me - I don't want to play that role any more. Yes I have problems - doesn't everyone?

I completed that bloody assignment I have been doing for 3 weeks, to hand in this week. Plus I wood stained the porch door as it was looking a bit shabby. Felt quite good - apart from mum popped round and didn't look impressed - she had to point out the new kitchen was a mess (argh that woman!)

So all in all, from not being able to breath for sheer panic when I posted, to now - I can't believe the difference!

I am so happy I have btb to vent on and let it out instead of pushing it all inside.
Rosiex

Edited by rosie8, 18 April 2010 - 05:19 PM.


#4 Sunshineinmyface

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Posted 18 April 2010 - 06:17 PM

:bighug:

#5 J-H

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Posted 18 April 2010 - 06:26 PM

Rosie, I admire your resolution to meet new challenges by fighting against panic and salute the idea of replacing anxiety with productivity...renovating the porch door demonstrates your wise woman status!

Cheers!

#6 glassslipper

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Posted 18 April 2010 - 08:46 PM

Hi Rosie

Local councils are notorious for being slow, it all has to go through 16 managers, 14 supervisors, 5 people for signature and approvals, then it gets lost and has to be started all over again. But I will say England is far less buerocratic than Hungary, I cant even put into words how bad it is, most times 6 copies of all docs are needed and god forbid if the stamp is two millimetres across from where it should be!! And dont even think of creasing official documents or getting a drop of water on them, I am telling you the truth about that, they will make you start things all over again.

At least you dont have to do 6 weeks all at once, good job time is divided like it is, but I have a friend who is a teacher and one of my uncles, so I do have some idea just how much work you have to cram in and the reporting!!! seems so OTT!!! I bet you cant wait till all the pupils become microchipped.

I understand how you feel about the dentist, just had an appointment myself, I expected they would pull my tooth straight away, but I now have an appointment over 3 weeks away so I am praying that I wont get too much pain, before then. I dont talk much in the dentists chair, but I do swear, well as best as I can when they have all those bits in my mouth and I tend to slide down the chair, so my head ends up where my bum was at the start of the appointment!! I tend to say 'Uck ee a lot and ucking ell.

This guy that crashed your car must have very small testicles and no penis, cos he seems to lack the testosterone to own up. I hate people like that, they are so frustrating. I have pranged a car in the past, left my details, but got no calls about it, I do wonder why it didnt hear anything. Hopefully he will get his own bad deed back later.

Next break if its a week why dont you arrange/book one day out, say some sorta day trip on a coach that you dont have to drive or think about anything? Somat to a National Trust place, I know teachers are over loaded during most holidays, but one day out of a week wouldnt be too much would it? That way you know you will get a free day, but know you can fit it all the out of term work you need to do.


Feeling like a very small person raging against the world and fate - who seems happy to keep throwing sh*t at me.

I read the above and thought 'well a pin is very small, but quite effective stuck in the right place'.

I hope Monday works out for you and the rest of the term goes smoothly.

Maria x