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Confused Again


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#1 Cera

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Posted 05 March 2010 - 03:17 AM

I said in my introduction that I have been feeling good lately. So here goes the thoughts again. Do I really have any disorder at all? Maybe I have gotten over it. Maybe I can go off my medications. I do hate the depressed times but I miss the really productive times(it's only hypomanic anyway). I take Cymbalta, Lamictal and Risperadol.

Does anyone else have these doubts and feelings? My husband freaks ever time I say that I am going off my meds. I have been feeling so confused lately. I try to tell myself to leave things well enough but these thoughts are getting hard to ignore. I have been trying to get as much information as possible to remind me how life was without meds. I have a hard time not reading into things but when I say that my meds are helping me or that they are making me feel worse, my therapist tries to change the subject. To me I interpret that as though the meds are not important. I don't understand because I don't think I have done anything different. I don't know why I get such a strong urge to go off meds. Does anyone else go through this and if you do please help me to do the right thing?

#2 Ed the chow hound

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Posted 05 March 2010 - 03:31 AM

Cera,

I figure that there is still a stigma around mental illness and no one wants to be mentally ill because it destroys our sense of self worth.
As long as we are taking meds we are seen by some folks as being mentally ill and this makes us feel uncomfortable. So we want to get better and get off meds and become mentally healthy and not need meds at all.

For folks like me depression has been a life long experience and I need my meds to cope with life. If If miss my meds in 72 hours I start to get mentally ill in the same way as if I miss my blood pressue medication or my kidney medication I become physically ill.

I will have to stay on meds for the rest of my life, my only regret is that I was not given meds forty years ago it would have haved me so much suffering and pain.

Stay on your meds until your doctor says it o.k. to come off them.

love ya

Ed the chow hound

#3 hippy

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Posted 05 March 2010 - 07:03 AM

[quote name='Ed the chow hound' date='05 March 2010 - 03:31 AM' timestamp='1267759895' post='272051']
Cera,

I figure that there is still a stigma around mental illness and no one wants to be mentally ill because it destroys our sense of self worth.
As long as we are taking meds we are seen by some folks as being mentally ill and this makes us feel uncomfortable. So we want to get better and get off meds and become mentally healthy and not need meds at all.
Dear Cera,
I have to agree with everything Ed has said. I find that, within a day of missing a dose, I am increasingly irritable. If I miss for two or more days, I am not well. The thing to remember with Bipolar is that we are well BECAUSE we are taking the meds. So when we feel we are fine, healthy, 100%, remember that this is only proving that the meds are working. To stop the meds would only serve to undo all the good they have done to bring you to the point where you are able to say that you are coping so much better. Whatever you do, do not stop the meds!!

Take care ...

#4 drgnfly

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Posted 05 March 2010 - 05:03 PM

Hi Cera,

As the others have said, it's so important to keep taking your meds. It's completely natural to feel better and want to quit taking them, but I have found that the episodes get worse each time around if I am not taking them. Having bipolar means a lifetime of medication. I've accepted it, not happily, but if I want to be able to funtion and have any sort of life I have to keep popping the pills.

Please don't chance a relapse by stopping your medication. If it's something you are serious about, talk with your doctor.

#5 Cera

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Posted 05 March 2010 - 09:28 PM

Thanks for all your advise. My doctor says that ever time I try to quit it makes it harder to treat it but hearing it from you all makes it more believable. No matter how much I try to fight the stigma I fight it for others not for myself. Thanks again, I know now how much I missed by being away and alone. Also, the information sites and references are great. You all are so knowledgeable it is wonderful that you are here.

#6 natoking

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Posted 05 March 2010 - 10:22 PM

Hey Cera,

Glad your feeling well. I am bipolar (proudly) as well. About a month ago, I thought I could swing it off of meds and I couldn't afford them anyway. Well........ I had the worst case of "mixed episodes" for three days. It was the worst ever. I didn't eat, sleep or even touch a drop of water. I became totally dehydrated and my muscles were cramping badly. I had a head that hurt so bad, I thought it was going to explode. Coffee withdrawals. I didn't event have my coffee for three days. I had crying episodes for hours that were unexplainable. Well, I am now getting meds from i pay about 75% less.

I think that I am on the right combination of drugs and dosages now. I am still getting up and down but not severely. That's the way I want to be. Just a little bit nuttier than everyone else.

I hope that my experience will be food for thought about your decision. Bob



#7 Ed the chow hound

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Posted 06 March 2010 - 03:39 AM

Cera,

I find being a member of BTB is almost as helpful as taking meds, I post every day that I am able to do so. Being part of the BTB cyber family gives me the emotional support I need to keep fighting the beast and to live a reasonable life.

hugs

Ed the chow hound

#8 glassslipper

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Posted 06 March 2010 - 08:32 AM

Hi Cera

I had two friends that were bi polar. One always wanted to quit the drugs when they kicked in cos she felt better, she dint see it was the tabs that made her function so well, she was more than a handful when she was off tabs, she didn't sleep and neither did her friends and family when she went off her tabs.

I am taking 75mg Asprin per day and a drug to lower my cholesterol, cos I had a mini stroke two weeks ago, I am 46. I dont think you should come off your meds anymore than I should come off mine, unless a qualified sane doc tells us to.

Maria x

Edited by glassslipper, 06 March 2010 - 06:31 PM.


#9 Cera

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Posted 06 March 2010 - 07:30 PM

Thanks guys, I am feeling more normal today. I know your comments helped because when I would think of the idea, I would think of what everyone said and it made it pass.

#10 RWigram

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Posted 08 March 2010 - 01:29 PM

Hang in there, Cera. Sorry I have nothing to add except more support.

DB

#11 sanntick

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Posted 27 December 2010 - 04:52 PM

If you are confidant that you have overcome the depression, and need no medication to support you, then slowly reduce the medicine doses, and gradually and very slowly get out of it. It's good if you can manage life with a nice mood, and good feeling without medical support. Try some yoga for an alternative support.