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Christmas Alone!


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#1 natoking

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Posted 11 December 2009 - 11:28 PM

Hi All. Things are progressing here nicely. It is in part, because of all of you.

I see the Christmas countdown clock at the top of the page. It is a little stressful looking at that! I usually spend Christmas alone even though I get several invites. It's weird because attending someone else's Christmas celebration feels weird. I always feel like "poor Bob". Like I am the third wheel or something.

I just posted this on Facebook for all my facebook friends -

"Spending Christmas alone? It can suck. I am hosting a Christmas dinner for friends without plans. All of you are welcomed. Let me know and we can make plans for a nice get together complete with friendship, Christmas cheer and some good food. All are welcome. Let me know. Maybe Christmas Eve too!"

There are many people who are alone and sad on Christmas. I think it will be a lot more comfortable if I can get a number of others who are going through the same thing. We don't have hide anything, put up a front or feel like we are intruding. You see, I need their company too. Within a half hour, I have received one positive RSVP already. I hope we get a bunch of folks who would otherwise feel sad and lonely. My house is so tiny so it will seem like we have a big crowd!

So, any of you in the proximity of New Haven are more than welcome.

Bob

#2 jillie

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Posted 12 December 2009 - 08:51 AM

What a great idea to have a get together! :D

Yes, the Christmas countdown clock nearly gives me a panic attack every time I look at it. In some ways I like it as I am so disorganized the reminder is no bad thing, in other ways I hate it as the days seem to mysteriously disappear faster than should be the norm.....I swear 24 hours ago there were still 14 days to Christmas and now it says 12! :confuse:

I wish you success in getting a convivial group together.

love Jillie xxxxx

#3 natoking

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Posted 23 December 2009 - 10:56 PM

Jillie,

Well it is rapidly approaching - 1 Day - 6 hours and 10 minutes! A little stressed. I appreciate your note. I feel like one of the few posting lately, it feels very therapeutic. Trying to go into this with a positive attitude. I have 2 guests coming albeit for a brief time. Hopefully others drop by throughout the day. I trying to think of something to do Christmas Eve and New Years Eve. One Day at a Time they say! The last 5 Christmases have been such bummers for me. Trying to change it up a bit! Last year I sat alone with no food in the house! I went to the truck stop for a Subway sub! I wish you all the best on Christmas day and everyday to come. Love, Bob XOXOXXO

#4 Ed the chow hound

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Posted 24 December 2009 - 03:17 PM

Hi Natoking,

Sending you xmas greetings from down under, hope your day is beast free and you have loads of goodies to munch on.

hugs

Ed the chow hound

#5 J-H

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Posted 24 December 2009 - 03:50 PM

Hi! what a great idea! I will hope along with you that folks drop in throughout the day. You are an inspiration! Cheers and best wishes, J-H

#6 natoking

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Posted 24 December 2009 - 04:22 PM

Merry Christmas all!

#7 rosie8

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Posted 24 December 2009 - 06:40 PM

Hope all goes well for you Bob.
Rosiex

#8 jillie

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Posted 26 December 2009 - 10:26 PM

Hi Bob,

Did it work out ok?

love Jillie xxxxxxx

#9 natoking

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Posted 27 December 2009 - 06:16 AM

Hi Bob,

Did it work out ok?

love Jillie xxxxxxx


Jillie,

Thanks for asking. I was really stressed that my kind gesture would leave me home alone on Christmas again. I must admit that my kind gesture had a selfish motive, for I didn't want to be alone.

As it turns out, my friend Tina (from the Dog park) was home alone. She is a pet sitter and it is a very busy time for her. Her daughter was on the opposite coast with her father. So Tina came, she looked wonderful and brought an apple pie. Much to my pleasure, Chrissy came too. I have had a number of dates with her and there is real romantic interest between us. Her kids were with their father for a time. I made Christmas stockings for the ladies filled with inexpensive trinkets. Chrissy brought a pecan pie and a number of thoughtful trinkets as well. I cooked up a great turkey dinner, if I may say so myself. Even neighbors dropped off gifts like fresh baked bread. I was very touched and all of us had a good time. Chrissy and Tina seemed to hit it off and there was non stop conversation, good food and wine. I feel so blessed Jillie. I was so worried that it was going to be a lonely disaster! I wasted energy worrying about it!

I guess, when you put out good energy, it comes back. I am really happy. I went out tonight to hear music. I ended up seeing about 8 friends. One woman. Lorraine brought me a gift, a book of Emily Dickenson's poems. I had told her once how much I liked her poetry.

Shit, what a wonderful couple of days. I hope this lasts!

Hope your holiday was just as nice,

bob

Thanks, everybody. Love you all!

#10 RWigram

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Posted 27 December 2009 - 02:45 PM

Glad to hear it went so well, Bob.

I may join you for one of these holidays before too long.

#11 J-H

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Posted 27 December 2009 - 05:26 PM

I am SO pleased to read that your endeavour paid off in such a lovely way. Bless you for making the effort to include others in you life and for providing the same opportunity for them.

Well done, well done indeed!

#12 natoking

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Posted 27 December 2009 - 07:25 PM

Thanks all. RWigram, you're welcome anytime.

I have to admit that this was a very big risk for me. I put my heart and soul into something that could become disastrous. On the other hand, if I make no attempt or take no risk, I sit alone depressed. I am glad that I lucked out. I guess being a bipolar dude I am inherently a risk taker. The trick for me is to keep making the effort but having no expectations. If nobody shows, nobody shows! If I have really high expectations, I can get really let down. I start to see things the way I want them to be instead of how they really are.

So, a lesson learned for me. I took a risk instead sitting here in my sorrow, as I usually do. People constantly amaze me with their kindness. I am also learning to not take anything personally when people are unable to be kind. I really appreciate the support of all of you! I do feel a little let down post holiday blues but people are just tired. Unfortunately, loneliness is a trigger for me. Keeping my chin up and plowing forward.The med change has really helped me!

Looking forward to good days for all of us.

#13 drgnfly

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Posted 28 December 2009 - 04:27 PM

Bob, I'm glad the day turned out so well! I have also spent a Christmas alone. The first after I moved into my own apartment my parents had moved to another state. I didn't really know many people, so I stayed at home and watched the Christmas parade on TV. It was so depressing. It would have been nice to know someone else who was alone to spend the day with. You not only planned a nice day for yourself, but made it enjoyable for others as well.
Take care!
Sabrina

#14 natoking

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Posted 29 December 2009 - 01:46 AM

Thanks Sabrina -

I took a chance and it paid off. I can't help but wonder how I would have felt if nobody showed? Oh, why bother wasting energy, wondering about that. Now I just need to get through New Year's Eve.

I am so thankful that you understand.

Happy New Year!

Bob