Jump to content


Photo

Rapid Cycling


  • Please log in to reply
8 replies to this topic

#1 natoking

natoking
  • Members
  • 408 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:CONNECTICUT
  • Interests:Boating, biking, music, conversation, world affairs, politics, love and sex.<br /><br />I am a graphic artist.

Posted 25 November 2009 - 05:28 AM

Hi everybody. Let me start by saying how grateful for all that has been bestowed upon me. I am thankful for this community of awesome folks like you and you and you.

I am having a really tough day. I suspect that I am having a "mixed episode" or "rapid cycling. It's when you feel mania and depression simultaneously or having the moods rapidly change from one second to the next! . It is really weird. I am sad but wired at the same time. Not sleepy at all and it's midnight. Until today, I was in bed asleep at 9:30 regularly. Been tearful all day. I had to leave work because I was crying. I was crying about good things one moment and crying abut bad things the next. I was so much better before I was diagnosed with this crap! lol! Just got live in the moment with no labels or expectations. Perhaps it is a culmination of emotions over loss and anticipation of being with family. Often times I can sabotage myself from enjoying good things, I'm going to fight it!

I realize that I have so much to be grateful for, trying to focus on that. Sorry that I am going through this. It is just a emotional firestorm. My old girlfriend Patty called it the Cesspool Tsunami. It is a pretty apt description.

For once, I will say a prayer for myself tonight. I feel so selfish when I do but but maybe I am wrong about that, so it's worth a shot.

Peace and contentment to all of you, Happy Thanksgiving. Only 17 days, 9 hours, 45 minutes and 35 seconds until the days start getting longer!!

Bob

#2 Hangingon

Hangingon

    Resident nerd & geeky person

  • Root Admin
  • 21,583 posts
  • Flag:
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:N.B. Canada

Posted 25 November 2009 - 12:53 PM

Hey Bob!

I agree, rapid cycling is weird and it does suck. Happens to me as well, though less than it used to thankfully.

Really hope things look up for you, and soon! Vent on as needed please.

Love

Sheila

#3 kewy13

kewy13
  • Members
  • 3,119 posts
  • Flag:
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Oregon USA
  • Interests:used to be hiking, packing, skiing, anything outdoors. am woking back toward that as i get healthier.

    i attend buddhist meditation at a temple nearby.

    yoga, bicycling, kayaking, camping, exfoliating, making jewelry, being outdoors.

Posted 27 November 2009 - 04:45 AM

For once, I will say a prayer for myself tonight. I feel so selfish when I do but but maybe I am wrong about that, so it's worth a shot.



good to hear that you are open to taking care of yourself. it is the most important step in being good to others, in that when you are cared for, your self preservation is already taken care of and is one less worry, so it is easier to care for others. and i know you do sooooooo much giving to others. so if you take care of you, then you can do more for others. anyway. i think that is a good way to explain why self care is important to someone who naturally cares so much for others.


care care care care care

when you say it so many times it starts to sound wierd, huh.

i am with you on the rapid cycling. it is way frustrating. i have been doing that a lot lately due to a trigger (person) constantly around me. skullcap herb supplement has helped. if you arent on any meds anyway.


((((((((bob))))))))))

i hope this subsides for you soon. keep praying, or meditating, focusing on your healing. it will benefit all around you and is in no way selfish!

:?: :?: :?:

#4 natoking

natoking
  • Members
  • 408 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:CONNECTICUT
  • Interests:Boating, biking, music, conversation, world affairs, politics, love and sex.<br /><br />I am a graphic artist.

Posted 27 November 2009 - 06:35 PM

Thanks all. I am here I PA at my sister's. They all know what I am going through but they are unable to engage in conversation about it, as if it is taboo. This is making me further depressed because I am so open. I amjust sitting here feeling sad and like I am real drag. Can't wait to get home! As lonely as home is, I feel like I have more support systems and don't feel as though I am burdensome on people. I love these peple but I can't put up a front and just sweep everything under the table. Going down fast here.

#5 drgnfly

drgnfly
  • Members
  • 901 posts
  • Flag:
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:midwest USA
  • Interests:Art, Books, Sleeping

Posted 27 November 2009 - 07:42 PM

(((Bob))) I can relate so much to the topic being "taboo" with family. Mine won't talk about it either. They just want to ignore the fact that I've been crying almost nonstop for a week. If it were my family member, I would want to know everything I could so I could try to help.
I'm so sorry you are going through this but we are here to help any way we can.
Hugs,
Sabrina

#6 natoking

natoking
  • Members
  • 408 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:CONNECTICUT
  • Interests:Boating, biking, music, conversation, world affairs, politics, love and sex.<br /><br />I am a graphic artist.

Posted 28 November 2009 - 03:37 AM

Well all,

I appreciate the fine words of understanding and encouragement. Still, I am sinking deep. Been in real bad back pain for two months and now my mind is turning on me! Truthfully, I think I am an awesome person but I am trapped by sadness, medications that flatline me, real financial ( job) promblems and plenty of physical pain. Of course I have no health insurance. Right now I am just plain scared! I need people who understand! At least I have you cyber buddies who are all I got at this moment!

#7 natoking

natoking
  • Members
  • 408 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:CONNECTICUT
  • Interests:Boating, biking, music, conversation, world affairs, politics, love and sex.<br /><br />I am a graphic artist.

Posted 29 November 2009 - 12:53 PM

(((Bob))) I can relate so much to the topic being "taboo" with family. Mine won't talk about it either. They just want to ignore the fact that I've been crying almost nonstop for a week. If it were my family member, I would want to know everything I could so I could try to help.
I'm so sorry you are going through this but we are here to help any way we can.
Hugs,
Sabrina


Sabrina, I think that your note explains why I am attracted to woman that are similar to myself in hopes that they can understand and relate. I am also hopeful that they I can reciprocate. Often times people are conditioned by societal rules where they deny their own ailments and are shut down by any mention of the topic. I wish you the best.

Bob

#8 J-H

J-H
  • Members
  • 663 posts
  • Flag:
  • Gender:Female

Posted 29 November 2009 - 07:12 PM

Bob, hello a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am so sorry to read of the recent events in your life and wish that I had the words to comfort you, if only for a moment. Alas, words so often fail to reflect what the heart experiences.

I send you my best wishes for a speedy resolution and hope that your days are becoming more bearable and stable. J-H

#9 drgnfly

drgnfly
  • Members
  • 901 posts
  • Flag:
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:midwest USA
  • Interests:Art, Books, Sleeping

Posted 29 November 2009 - 09:04 PM

Bob, that's why I love the BtB so much. You understand what I am feeling and I feel so much better talking to you all. I don't know how my family can deal with me a lot of the time. Dealing with the bipolar disorder is hard enough for me, I can't imagine what it must be like for them when I feel so unstable so much of the time.
I'm sending you hugs!
Sabrina