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I'm ready


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#1 Ashten

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Posted 26 July 2009 - 07:17 PM

In my last post, I talked about how i felt like I wasnt ready to stop drinking, that even though I hate how i feel after, and how i drink myself into black outs and then spend the day and bed and then do it all over again that night.. I wasn't sure I was really ready to give it up. I was approaching that point, but a little part of me wanted to just get wasted...again and again and again.

I think I'm ready. I'm tired of doing things that i know hurt people I love.. I'm tired of feeling embarrassed.. of avoiding everyone I know the day after I go out. I'm tired of coming home from a shitty day and thinking a drink will make me feel better. I'm sick of embarrassing my family, and of being afraid to face them. I'm tired of jeopardizing my relationship...my reputation.. my job..ugh. Thank god I have tomorrow off, because I am havign anxiety already about going in on tuesday and seeing my staff. blah I'm tired of saying "I'm not drinking tonight" and then "ok, one drink" and then all of sudden waking up and saying "what the eff did I do?"

Anyway. I'm ready. No more drinking. And if that means no more going out, then thats what it means. I hate who I am becoming.

#2 kirsty777

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Posted 26 July 2009 - 08:00 PM

((((((Ashten))))))

Go you! :D

I decided to give up drinking 4 months ago (although I fell off the wagon a couple of weekends ago - but I got back on it and thats the main thing). I'm only starting to tell friends now that I can never drink again and explain that when I do drink I feel suicidal for days after it, I really do believe I have some kind of physical allergy to it. And I can honestly say that in my soberiety I have had moments where i felt I could burst because I was so happy and full of joy (hee that's the only way I can describe it) and I have NEVER felt like that as a teenager or adult. If you ever want to talk feel free to pm me anytime.

Kirsty

#3 Sunshineinmyface

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Posted 26 July 2009 - 08:13 PM

(((((((Ashten)))))))

#4 drgnfly

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Posted 27 July 2009 - 04:39 PM

This is a huge step and one you should be very proud of. My parents are both alcoholics and I see how tough everything is for them because of it. I am rooting for you!

#5 Ashten

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Posted 27 July 2009 - 08:45 PM

((((Kirsty))) Thank you for the encouragement!!!

((((sunshine)))) Thank you :)

((((Drgnfly)))) Thank you!

#6 Hangingon

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Posted 27 July 2009 - 09:25 PM

:D

Those all sound like very solid reasons to quit, very good reasons too. The sooner you can get a handle on it the better off you will be for it. I gave up smoking 3 months ago after 23 years of smoking. Honestly, once it began I didn't want to quit any more, but I stuck to it. In life, there are always things we don't want to do, but we have to do them any way, like working! :wink:

You can do this, I know you can. Keep us updated and vent as needed.

Love

Sheila

#7 Ashten

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 11:05 PM

So, I'm almost at 21 days, which is pretty awesome! :) I'm pretty happy about that, but I still feel so anxious and guilty over things I did when I was drunk. Does that make sense? Just knowing that people saw me totally gone makes me feel SO embarrassed. I'm also nervous about moving in with the boyfriend. He likes to drink, but it's not a problem for him the way it is for me. He can have like one or two... or seven or eight, and he never makes a food of himself, never wakes up full of anxiety. why can't I be like that?

Anyway, I'm nervous that I'll make our life boring. Stupid, eh?

#8 Sunshineinmyface

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Posted 14 August 2009 - 12:26 PM

CONGRATULATIONS ON 21 DAYS !!!!!!!!!

I believe everything will work out when you two move in together. You far far from boring my dear.

hugs,
Sunshine

#9 paul

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Posted 14 August 2009 - 01:07 PM

Hi Ashten, you are doing really well, 21 days, you should be proud of your self, well done.