Since I was 13 I've been watching and masturbating to porn. I started to notice that whenever I felted lonely or especially rejected by girls I would turn to porn to hide the pain and in some weird way feel like at least a got a little connection to women(Stupid I Know). As the years have passes I've tried to stop the porn watching, but I 've failed so many times I've lost count. It makes me feel especially guilty being that I really believe sex is mean't to be for emotional and physical bonding between a committed couple.
I'm extremely shy socially, so I've only had one gf and I've always felt that my depression and my guilt based on that I felt like I was cheating on her with the porn, destroyed the relationship. Now I feel like its almost impossible to stop my porn habit and also feel like abandoning my values and just becoming sex crazy.
I know there are differing views on the effects of porn, but my point is that i've becomed dependant on it like I drug to self medicated my loneliness. So i'm just throwing this out here, to see if anybody can shed some word of wisdom. By the way I did discuss this with my ex-therpaist and she said given that the frequency wasn't out of control and the fact she just said she could teel I just liked porn she didn't see it has a reall problem,expect for the guilt. But I still don't feel satisfied with that. I just wish I could get rid of this habit that feels like a addiction to me.
Edited by Alberto, 29 March 2007 - 04:04 PM.