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sexual addiction?


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#1 rosie8

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Posted 26 September 2005 - 05:45 PM

I notice no-one has posted anything about sexual addictions. Although this is something i'm a little scared of writing details about, i have used someone for this purpose, and he did not realise he was not the only person in my life. My response to trying to curb how i'm acting is to try a stint of celibacy again, for the past few weeks, which doesnt suit me very much, as i think i use sex to make me feel better about myself. Not sure why i do this, as i usually spend ages after - trying to justify to myself how i'm not a bad person and its what 'normal' people do.

As the aforementioned guy has not been around for a while, due to an argument we had (in which i wanted him to stay and.... - and he said he was 'tired' and wanted to go home) and i am finding myself obsessing how bitter and resentful i am towards him - and that its his fault i continue to self destruct and that he could have 'saved me' which i know is crap.

Surely i am not alone, but maybe like me, are a little worried about talking openly about such a delicate subject?

#2 angie74

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Posted 27 September 2005 - 06:56 PM

Rosie,

Good for you for having the courage to talk about this. I can't say I have any personal experience in this area, however, I am more than willing to listen. This was a brave decision to make and it may help others to open up.

#3 rosie8

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Posted 30 September 2005 - 08:19 PM

Realised what i'd done and tried the usual, avoiding this site and pretending i hadn't written that posting in my usual dysfunctional way - but i need this site and it helps me! Think i need to work this out somehow, but in a bit more privacy! Rosiex

#4 Guest_ouch_*

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Posted 01 October 2005 - 04:39 AM

I agree with Angie. It took a few bushels of courage to start this topic. I applaud you for it.

When I was young I was promiscuous but I don't think it was an addiction so much as an inability to establish healthy boundries. I seldom experienced physical pleasure from the experiences although it did fill an emotional void. I suppose that could be viewed as addictive behavior although back then sexual addiction wasn't even known of.

Don't avoid the site Rosie. Above all don't be embarrassed. We're all adults here. You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.

Love ang hugs to all,

#5 Ed the chow hound

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Posted 03 October 2005 - 11:40 AM

Rosie,

Long ago and far away when your uncle Ed was young I think I was addicted to sex in as much as I found it helped me cope with boredom and depression.

I was also addicted to danger as well, jumping out of airplanes, hunting sharks, martial arts, falling off mountains and lots of dangerous sports.

I think if we use sex as a means of coping with life rather than the normal reasons perhaps we might be called addicts.

love ya
Ed the chow hound

#6 sophie

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Posted 08 October 2005 - 11:55 PM

i would say i can identify with u a little there. i have only ever used sex to make myself feel better. to prove that i am wanted and that some people do find me attractive. i definately dont use it for the right reasons

#7 BrokenInside

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Posted 13 October 2007 - 05:15 AM

I don't think I am addicted but I definitely have issues with sex. Before I was married, if I was in a situation with a guy, I could not say no. I didn't want to hurt his feelings or whatever. Which is nuts. Even if I didn't want to, I said yes. I have two affairs in my marriage, which I am extremely shameful of. And to be honest, it wasn't about the sex. The sex SUCKED. I "thought" I cared about one of the guys, but quickly realized I was just addicted to having someone make me feel good about myself. (Nothing like sneaking around to make you feel good about yourself. How sick is that?) The other affair I was just not able to say no. Of course, he kept coming back for more. I eventually avoided him so that I wouldn't continue it. But, I hate that about myself. I am not an unattractive person physically. (Not great looking, but not a toad.) But, I just can't say no to anyone about anything. :( Even at the risk of hurting my husband. (Who knows about one of the affairs and it nearly destroyed him.) :(

#8 rosie8

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Posted 26 October 2007 - 01:56 PM

I am sorry broken inside that you hurt yourself - in your marriage by not saying no. I can see where you are coming from, but at least you are still with your husband! You must be very attractive to have people admire you and want to be with you - or maybe its just being 'you' and you certainly dont sound like a toad! lol.

Mine is not saying no, its the rush and release - the feeling of wellbeing after - which is followed by feelings of being 'bad'. I cant say much more on such an open forum, but its like my release mechanism of sorts - like taking a drug.

Rosie :blush: