I think I need to do this again
Posted 16 April 2008 - 06:46 PM
I still look in the mirror and see a fat person. but how stupid is that? I've freaking lost 135 lbs, for heavens sake. that should make me proud, right??
but it's still not enough. I need to lose at least another 10 or possibly 20 before I feel like I'm "finished".
this is such a mess in my head, I can't feel like a skinny person even though everybody comments on it. and you know what's a pain in the ass -- it's just as hard finding clothes in small sizes as it was in fat sizes! that is sooo not fair! I just had to order a dress from Victoria's Secret in an extra small to get it to fit. I didn't even know they made things that size!
ugh. I know I won't get much pity here, everybody wants to lose weight, it seems like. I just need to vent it out and try to keep track of what's keeping me stuck at this weight right now.
so far today I've had a 1/2 can of pepsi at 100 calories.
hopefully that's all for today, I actually gained back 5 lbs in march and it pisses me off.
wish me luck.
Posted 17 April 2008 - 11:24 AM
WOW that is quite a weight loss. Congratulations.
I am worried that you might be getting too thin. 0 is VERY small and wanting to lose more weight .. well.. that seems a lot.
Has your doctor asked you to lose more for some reason?
Try to stay safe and healthy.
Posted 19 April 2008 - 03:02 AM
actually my dr tends to think I'm anorexic and had a complete blood panel run on me in February. everything came back within normal limits, so I haven't damaged anything by doing this to myself. except for the gross saggy skin. I need to get ahold of Oprah and see if she'll pay for some reconstructive surgery (LOL)
I don't think I'm anorexic, I'm just a control freak. I DO still like food and actually eat it on occasion. actually yesterday I ate a half order of curried chicken (mostly vegies) at a chinese restaurant. today it was back to an apple and a container of yogurt because I plan to go out tonight and I have to account for the beer calories. gotta keep my priorities straight! 102 calories in every bottle of Coors Light, so my limit is 3.
gotta drop a few more lbs before the 25th as I'm going down to a huge biker convention in Laughlin and most of the girls won't be wearing very much so I've gotta show them that 42 can still look good!
I think tomorrow will be a nothing but liquids day to get me back on track.
Edited by verysadcat, 19 April 2008 - 03:03 AM.
Posted 19 April 2008 - 07:37 AM
135 pounds is a lot to lose! i must say, i am concerned about you and your desire to lose more weight--0 is VERY small. your health is the most important thing. counting calories can be healthy, but restricting yourself from what your body needs is not. an apple and yogurt is not enough food for an adult. (and, beer doesn't really count as food )and, we need food more than "occasionally".
also, our food intake plays such a huge role in our mood , especially depression.
not to harp--it sounds like you have probably already heard this from your doctor. please take care of yourself. you are in my thoughts.
Posted 20 April 2008 - 03:33 AM
Please try to stay healthy.
Sorry about the extra skin. Who knows, maybe Oprah would float you some cash. You wouldn't even have to talk to Dr. Phil. LOL
Posted 25 April 2008 - 12:28 AM
1 slice whole grain bread
1 gala apple
concert tomorrow night. I'm totally not where I wanted to be. maybe I'll aim for next Friday instead.
Edited by verysadcat, 25 April 2008 - 12:30 AM.
Posted 26 April 2008 - 05:18 AM
You need some protein in there. The pretzels may act as the tinder...but there is nothing for your body to burn. Plus...when you don't eat enough your body produces an enzyme that stores fat because it thinks that it is starving. You need to eat enough food to lose weight...and to be healthy.
Don't wan't ya keeling over on the dance floor there.
take care of yourself.