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I just don't want to go.

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#1 pita


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Posted 17 June 2008 - 03:26 PM

I have blown off my pdoc for this month.

I have therapy today with my T...but I just don't want to go.

I didn't go last week.

I have been talking about ending therapy.

I just don't feel like doing it any more.

I have screwed up this life beyond belief. Therapy is not going to help un-screw it. I can learn better ways to cope...but let's be real here. I have been in therapy for over 4 years now. If I haven't learned yet...I aint gonna.


I guess I will go take a shower.


#2 Bacchus

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Posted 17 June 2008 - 10:55 PM


How about taking a "vacation" from therapy and see how it goes? At your next session, ask about taking the rest of the summer off, and then see how things are going. From what you've written in the past, it sounded like your therapist had been very supportive, I'd suggest not burning that bridge.

By the way, I don't think you've "screwed up this life beyond belief." For one thing, I think you had a lot of "help" doing so.

#3 windcuffer

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Posted 18 June 2008 - 12:27 AM


Have to say I'm with Bacchus on this. Some time off therapy may be what you need. You may find if you go back to it you get more from it next time.

Very best wishes


#4 pea

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Posted 19 June 2008 - 12:20 AM

Hi Pita,

I'm big on therapy "time outs". Therapists always seem to be against them, but i have always found them to be useful.


#5 jami

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Posted 19 June 2008 - 12:26 AM

You said yourself, you can learn better ways to cope.

maybe you've had enough therapy for a while, take time out from it, give yourself the chance to cope without it and see how it goes.

good luck

#6 Sunshineinmyface


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Posted 19 June 2008 - 10:13 PM

Ditto ditto to the wise ones above.

((((((Pita)))))) You cutest bunny :kiss: Near breaks my heart to hear you say:

I have screwed up this life beyond belief. Therapy is not going to help un-screw it. I can learn better ways to cope...but let's be real here. I have been in therapy for over 4 years now. If I haven't learned yet...I aint gonna.

Although, I do identify with what you say very much.

The words I use when talking to myself mostly - "fuck-up" "messed every thing up" "loser" then also "beyond belief" "eternally" "all the time" "none of the time" "forever"...blah blah. You and I did not put these words, nor the ideas attached, into our own heads. If we had that power - to brainwash - would we put painful thoughts and words in our heads?.

Rather would we not put thoughts like:"Oh, fun is not optional. " "I can certainly give this a go." "So what, things happen." "I like myself" into our head? You bet - if we could have we would have. You know that as well as I do......awww I back slide too. %$&^#

Un-screw???? Guilty as charged of thinking that one as well. "Learned" "struggled with" better 'ey?

Buzz words buzz words.

All anyone does is cope with the life they are living and what comes. (Unless, as I understand it, you are on mind altering drugs - thought altering - beyond feeling okay.)

As the others have said, you have related to us a positive relationship with your therapist. Is there any reason to close the door on this relationship? I think a cushion ( perhaps not the best word) like a T is comforting to have access to.

OH NO....I am unilaterally deciding to take a break from therapy myself. And here I was ALSO thinking I was "fucking up" etc. too.

I cancelled and have not made future appointments. So what? (I say this now...) At least I am at the point where I am able to determine that I need a break and not wanting to go is okay (mostly). Perhaps next week I will talk this over with T.

I recall that you have made much progress with your T and Pdoc. One important aspect, in my view, is a therapist who listens, softly probes a bit unless told not to, and talks WITH me not AT me. I think this is a good relationship to keep in touch with.

Perhaps I have dug out and investigated how my past effects me as much as I can right now. Or, perhaps I will not look into it anymore. Still, cold turkey sounds better than it tastes. I think Bacchus' advice to not burn bridges is important.

Pita please consider not cold turkey on the meds.......

:bighug: :bighug:


#7 Tantalus


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Posted 20 June 2008 - 11:36 PM


#8 kewy13

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Posted 21 June 2008 - 06:09 AM

((( :bunny: )))

i agree with the others. it sounds like a break is needed. sometimes it is better to give things a bit of rest rather than pushing them too hard.

wishing you a peaceful mind love.