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Here we go again....


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#1 SereneTragedy

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Posted 01 July 2007 - 11:14 PM

It feels odd to be posting about myself again. This is taking me a lot of courage to write.

But I'm at the point where I needed to write about this. I've lost about six pounds in the past week or so. And I'm only about 102 to begin with, so six for someone my size is a big deal. I've resorted to wearing my sister's jazz pants (yes, even the ones that have the Elvis-style glitter down the sides) because they're all I fit into. My skirts fall off because there's nothing to keep them on.

I saw my shadow today when I was out walking. Disgusting, but I was pleased by how thin it looked, even in this baggy outfit.

I don't want to fall into this again. I just can't force myself to eat. And it's so easy. I hate to eat in public, so I always say that I already ate....no one questions me.

I told someone whom I am very close to that I was borderline to anorexic again. Saying it aloud....didn't make it real. I know it's true, but I can't bring myself to believe it.

#2 Sunshineinmyface

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Posted 02 July 2007 - 04:20 AM

((((((Serene)))))


I am sure I mentioned this before, but not recently, I do not think.
When I was in the dysfunction and chaos of my family, high school, the narrow mined town......I could not gain weight...5'3" and <100 lbs........I ate healthy but could not gain. I am sure it was the stress......when I was off in college I started to not look like a scarecrow. Now I went too far on the indulgant side....the meds mostly :lol:

When I am depressed I usually drop weight.....quite fast....don't want to and cannot eat much....gag....so I have tried...energy drinks, vitamin drinks - clear, and vitamin/mineral creamy drinks. That can help me get to the next meal and feel okay. Still, I will strongly encourage you to eat breakfast...dry toast, toast with jam, cinnamon toast....whatever you will eat in the morning. And have a healthy dinner....small portions over the afternoon or all day.

Hope you do not get caught in the wind and blown away.....this is true - it almost happened to me when I was 98 lbs with a really strong wind and an umbrella to keep a little rain off.....the wind actually moved me down the street...had to drop the umbrella, which was inside out at this time, and push into the wind like a Buffalo. We would not be pleased if our unicorn floated away.....so keep a string or golden cord attached to you so we can find you...

Seriously, please consider some of my or other suggestions from mags or books or internet to get nourishment in small bits throught the day...a bag of grapes here...etc.

Hugs and Hugs,
Sunshine

#3 SereneTragedy

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Posted 04 July 2007 - 08:19 PM

Thanks Sunshine. I haven't blown away yet...but there's a first time for everything....

I'm too skinny. We don't own a scale, so I dont' know HOW skinny, but it's bad....

#4 Sunshineinmyface

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Posted 05 July 2007 - 12:45 AM

(((((((((ST))))))))

Take care of yourself...eat as healthy as you can..all food groups. Eat small meals or snack throughout the day if that helps. Eat dried fruit, nuts, etc that are rich in vits but you do not have to eat much.

Take vitamins....multi.....vit B for nerves and brain, vit C for antioxidant....keeps you healthy and your skin healthy, you can supplement as much as you like, just check on the amounts...I use Dr. Earl Mendel's Vitamin Book or some similar title and he has a herb book as well. Over the years he has been a very credible source of information for me....following trials and new information. And providing dosage for reg. use and how certain vits/mins can interact for the good and the negative. He is conservative because he does not jump on any new bandwagon in town regarding health until it is looked at more throughly.

And consider energy or vitamin drinks but beware of the ingredients...do not want one with main ingredient as caffeine. And those nourishing beverages.....used if one is not getting all the nutrition they need or to provide additional nutrition.

Does this all come from the comments about your sister?



Hugs,

Sunshine

#5 SereneTragedy

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Posted 05 July 2007 - 02:23 AM

I wish I knew what it stemmed from.
It's kind of subconscious, if that makes any sense. I just do it. It just happens. I lose weight and then I realize I've lost weight and that I look good....and it keeps happening. And I lose my appetite...which doesn't really help....