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end of rope


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#1 Tantalus

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Posted 14 October 2005 - 04:09 AM

I think I have just about reached the end of my rope, I can just "feel" rock bottom approaching.

I am running out of hope, and this couldn't have come at a worse time, winter is fast approaching.....the winter blues will do me in, I just know it.

I give up, I've had enough. Stick a huge fricking fork in my ass, cause I am done.



T

#2 train819

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Posted 14 October 2005 - 04:13 AM

((((((((((((Tantalus))))))))))))))

Slow down, old friend, slow down!! It's only October, so don't go thinking about the winter blues yet. It sounds like you have enough to worry about with today's problems, whatever they might be.

Don't give up, and don't give up hope. Lean on us, get help if you need it (and from the sound of your post, you *do*). You've been through this before, and you know that life can get better even though it doesn't seem that way right now.

We are your tribe, and we are always on your side.

Peace, and love,
Barry

#3 Bacchus

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Posted 14 October 2005 - 07:12 AM

Tantalus,

I'm sorry things are so hard right now. I shouldn't kid you when you're feeling so rotten, but I'd have to stick a fork in your Pelop's ass to keep you in character.

Have you got anyone to talk to right now? If not, as Barry suggested, it would be a good time to look for someone. Can you get out and do some things so there's less time to sit and ruminate? I know it's hard to get going anywhere when you feel like crap, but perhaps if you're not locked in at home things will be easier.

Have you ever tried "light therapy?" I haven't (I'm odd and actually like the days of less sunlight), but I've read that it really helps a lot of people. I keep thinking of the "Northern Exposure" episode where the grumpy old man (I can't remember his name) is prescribed light therapy and becomes addicted to it--using the equipment for far more time than he was prescribed.

I haven't been around a lot the last year or so, so I don't remember if you still have the same dog (I'm sorry that I don't know). If you do or have another, can you schedule more walks to keep yourself busy? I know that when I'm down, it's hard for me to even take the dog out, but I if I do, there's one less thing to feel guilty about, and I got a little exercise.

I'm sorry there's nothing I can do other than "listen" to you. Please, come here to vent; you know you have a lot of friends here.

Please, take care. We Greeks have to stick together.
Bacchus

#4 jillie

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Posted 14 October 2005 - 08:41 AM

(((((((((((((Tant))))))))))))))))

I get the impression you have survived many things in your life. I know you don't want to start fighting again, that the very thought of struggling yet once more seems too much, but you must do it.

Please can you try reaching out and telling us about what is going on with you? I know you are a very private person, but there are many of us here who call you a friend and would love the chance to be able to perhaps help a little. I too have the tendency to be rather too private, but when I finally plucked up to post about my relationship with my father recently I had masses of support and some very good ideas from everyone. It helped me a huge amount.

If you want to pm me you know I am here for you. Meanwhile Bacchus has some good ideas about getting out. It can be so difficult to stick to some kind of routine at a time like this, but it is even more essential than usual to do so.

Please take care of yourself Tant

love Jillie xxxxxxxxxxxx

#5 tiggervet

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Posted 14 October 2005 - 01:19 PM

((((Tantalus)))))

I'm truly sorry to hear that you feel you're reaching rock bottom. Please PM me if you want to talk, or post here publicly if you can. Sometimes it helps to write things out, and hear another voice (or many) answering you. Sometimes we can even help you see things in a way you hadn't thought of before.

whatever you do, don't isolate yourself when you most need the warm thoughts and support of those who care about you.

:?: :?: :?: :?: :?:

#6 rubenoid

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Posted 14 October 2005 - 02:16 PM

((((( T )))))

I know the darker days tend to get you down. The light therapy is a good idea, as would be a nice trip somewhere sunny! Hang in there, and take strength in the fact that you have been able to make it through the difficulties before. It's nice to see you out of stealth mode, and I hope that you will continue to use this place as a source of love and support - that is what this place is about after all!

Your friend, Ruben

#7 angie74

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Posted 14 October 2005 - 03:09 PM

(((((Tantalus)))))

#8 zuziqu

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Posted 14 October 2005 - 05:37 PM

(((((((Tantalus)))))))

I am sorry to hear that the beast is knocking you down. I hope you can fight back and give him a run for his money.

Talking does help. We are here for you, in whatever capacity you need.

I would suggest you try light therapy. I bought a full spectrum light from Costco (in Canada, of course) and it was under $30.00. I got it in February, and have found a big difference in my moods. I have it over my computer desk, and turn it on when I sit down to "compute". I don't have a specific time amount, I just have it on while I am here. Of course, that could be anywhere from 1 to 3 hours. The "light therapy" lights can be up to $250.00, so I chose the cheaper way.

I sure hope things get better soon. Please, talk away to whomever you choose, and get some help.

Love, Sue


#9 Hangingon

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Posted 14 October 2005 - 05:42 PM

Hmmm,

Well sorry, I am tying a knot in the end of that rope so you don't dangle and fall off the end of it......

There's over 600 of us here to help haul you back to the top of that rope T! Use us as needed..... Isolating with it won't do any good.

We're here for you Tant, vent as needed PLEASE.

Love

Sheila

PS - Hey, anyone who can post and bring Bacchus out of the woodwork again is worth something now aren't they????

:?: :?: :?: :?:

#10 Antea

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Posted 14 October 2005 - 07:42 PM

Hey buddy!

I've been wondering about you so it really pains me to hear you're feeling so down. Everyone else has already said the stuff I'd say so I'll just agree with their advice.

Just in case Sheila's knot should prove insufficient (although I've every confidence in her knot-tying abilities) a Guardian has been dispatched to fly endlessly back and forth beneath you. I'd suggest you do your best to hang on though since the dragon who volunteered for the job has very sharp back spines.

In the improbable event that:

a. the knot and/or your grip fails

and

b. the dragon fails to catch you . . .

. . . a highly concerned Fluffy has flattened itself against the rocks to provide you with a very soft landing spot. Fluffy feels guilty for all the times it sat on you and is eager to make up for the abuse by letting you sit on it.


Seriously though, you've been missed pal and I really hate to see you in pain. You'll get through this Tantalus, don't let the Beast lie to you about your own strength or that you have no outside resources to fight back.

Keep in touch okay?

Antea

#11 Antea

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Posted 14 October 2005 - 07:44 PM

Speaking of dragons, I'm sure that a certain dragon soldier would be more than happy to hear from you. I think you benefit from eachother's company.

Antea

#12 Hangingon

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Posted 14 October 2005 - 07:45 PM

Hmmm,

OK, now you've managed to bring Antea out of the woodwork too.....

Hope this all tells you something!!!! :wink:

Love

Sheila

#13 Antea

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Posted 14 October 2005 - 07:51 PM

Hmmm,

OK, now you've managed to bring Antea out of the woodwork too.....

Hope this all tells you something!!!!

Love

Sheila


Just what do you mean by that? :wait: Are you implying that I have "favorites?"

Take care Tantalus,

[i]With much affection

Antea

#14 Jellycat

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Posted 14 October 2005 - 09:12 PM

Hi Tantalus

Do you know I was staring through the window tonight , looking at..well the black, darkness outside and I thought o.m.g winter.gloom , gloom gloom.. I tend to suffer from winter depression quite a lot. My mood drops from sort of Ok on a good a day in October to down to the pits of the earth by say January....

If you have problems with sleep its worse too as its always dark..everything feels as if it is closing in more if you ask me and its not a good time if you suffer from depression.

It is true that its best to get as much as light as possible ,but honestly , I think what helps me is chatting, venting, waffling away to people here.

Hope you can get through this patch

Don't lose hope Tantalus, I know you quite well now and you have worked so hard in the last few years overcoing the Beast and depression, I bet you can do it again.

love Jellyxxx

#15 Sunshineinmyface

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Posted 14 October 2005 - 09:44 PM

((((((T))))))

I am on a rope and nearing the end as well and thinking I cannot take this again. These beast interventions on my life has caused me such pain I disregard the strong and compassionate things I have done in my life.

I try, if I can, review what I think were good things in my life and cut off the hurtfull end of things caused by the beast. This is truely hard and doing this has only slowed me a bit on the rope as my grip is very weak.

Hang on dear T and lean on the friends here. I will try..." try more" to hang on just because you posted how you are doing.

Many hugs and please tell more if and when you can or choose to.

#16 Hangingon

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Posted 14 October 2005 - 11:26 PM

[quote="Antea"][quote]Just what do you mean by that?   :wait:   Are you implying that I have "favorites?"[/quote]

:o

Me????????? Noooooooo, not at all.....

I KNEW it.......

:wink:

#17 angie74

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Posted 15 October 2005 - 12:27 AM

I too, get more depressed sometimes in the winter b/c of the decreased daylight. Hang in there and keep us posted on how you are coping.

#18 KindredSpirit

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Posted 15 October 2005 - 02:15 AM

Tantalus,

I think reaching out here is a wonderful first step. Please continue to reach out, and continue to talk all of this through. We are all right here, ready to fight right along with you.

Please take good care of yourself right now. Always a pm away if you need to talk.

Love,

Deb

#19 Kaktus

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Posted 15 October 2005 - 03:57 AM

((((((((((((((((((((((((Tantalus))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

#20 Samantha

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Posted 15 October 2005 - 04:36 AM

((((((((((((((Tantalus)))))))))))