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Wrote a letter to my dad on the weekend.


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#1 cookiemonster2809

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 02:20 PM

I had sent my dad a letter in the mail standing up for myself. And telling him about all of the times he called me names and how he hit me three times. And how I cant come to him for comfort or support.

I am very close to my mom and tell her everything. His birthday was a few days ago and he asked me how I was. I told him the truth how I was depressed and he he kind of shut me down. I left the conversation in tears. I wrote him the letter and haven't told my mom or sister about it. I am terrified that my family will get up set with me. And I may drive him in to a depression or drive him to drink again.

Any feedback would be great from you guys. Because I am on my own here and I don't want to tell my mom because she will go right to my dad and tell him and I know he wont take the letter seriously. :oops:

#2 Canewielder

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 03:14 PM

Personally, I think it is best to come right out and tell someone how you feel about them. How they’ve let you down or show no support for you, or how they have hurt you in the past. I think if you keep everything bottled up inside of you you’re just making yourself worse. Make sure you also tell those that do support you how much you appreciate it and how much it helps you through tuff times. This is just my opinion, others may disagree with it though.

Take Care
Canewielder

#3 cookiemonster2809

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 03:20 PM

Thanks, thats exactly what my boyfriend said. I called him crying my eyes out and it all poured out. Like all of the things hes said to me. And how I never got support from him And he was like "tell him" I was so scared to because he was a very angry person who ruled the house. But I did it and sent it. I thanked him but I really don't want to start drama with my family. But I really feel that he did pick on me more than everyone else.

#4 Dedalus77

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 06:00 PM

First off, congratulations on having the courage to tell your Dad how you feel! That is amazingly strong. I agree that it is best to tell people how you are feeling and how their actions make you feel. At the same time, I know how incredibly scary and hard it is to do; I personally have not had the courage to talk to my Dad yet, but I am slowly getting there with the help of my therapist. And being afraid of stirring up family drama is totally normal, especially for those of us who spend all our time trying to avoid it :) Hang in there, and good luck with talking to your Dad. I think you are incredibly brave.

#5 cookiemonster2809

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 07:40 PM

Awww shucks thanks! I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. I guess we all still sometimes think that it's disrespectful because they are our parents. And we have been listening and looking up to them most of our lives. I will fill you guys in on how it goes over and on any outcome.

#6 cookiemonster2809

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 01:08 PM

Still no update yet if he got it or not. I had a wicked anxiety attack last night freaking. Every time the phone rang I'd jump up and panic. I just kept thinking of the weekend and how I am going to get out of the house away from that damn phone.

#7 drgnfly

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 09:47 PM

((((cookiemonster)))) I am so glad you stood up for yourself! Hopefully now, whether he gets mad or not, he will start treating you better. It's not disrespectful to ask to be treated in the way you deserve to be. You should be so proud of yourself!

#8 RWigram

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Posted 12 November 2009 - 01:06 AM

Sorry I'm so late to this thread.

I must add my voice to those congratulating you.

What you did took courage and I believe that in time, you'll see it as a big healing step you took.

I assume he's never responded to you, but that's OK. I understand your anxiety and wanting him to confront you about it, but try to see it this way. You told him off and now he's afraid to bring it up.

You are now in charge in this relationship. You're not a bully like he was, so you're not going to take advantage of that like he did. But it's true nonetheless.

Well done.

#9 cookiemonster2809

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Posted 18 November 2009 - 03:57 PM

Awww thanks! yeah still no call I'm not sure if I should call him my mom wants me to but ya... Thanks so much :)