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meeting BF family..for entire holiday weekend

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#1 Guest_vic1111_*

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Posted 03 July 2010 - 11:19 AM

Hi All,
I have not posted in a while, but I am very anxious about the upcoming weekend. This morning my boyfriend is driving us out of town to stay with his family all weekend. I have never met them. He is a super extrovert, and I am the opposite. I have tried to explain that I may need some "down time" (away from the crowd) while we are there. He doesn't seem to understand. I have always been an introvert, and while I have learned to adapt to this world, I generally get through parties and other social situations by knowing they will only last a few hours, and then I can go home and have time to myself to rejuvenate. I find it extremely emotionally exhausting to be with a group of people or with new people for extended periods of time. We will be there for 3 days. Also, they all like to sit around in a big group at night and drink alot of beer- I don't drink and this, too, can be awkward.
I am very anxious about getting through the weekend effectively. I would greatly appreciate any words of wisdom or shared experience of something that may help. Thank you

#2 glassslipper

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Posted 03 July 2010 - 05:06 PM


I used to have much the same problem with going to my family and my in laws, smiling and mixing when all I wanted to do was get the hell out and read a book in my own space.

Like you I found it wearing to be making small talk, smiling and stuff, I will say I was never uncomfortable socialising with others, I intensely disliked my family, whom over the years I came to loathe more and more. My one method of coping was to find the quietest corner and take refuge there, but inevitably some bugger would come along and say'come one, what ya doin' on your own?' or 'come and have a drink', meet 'my new boyfriend', 'play with your cousin' 'help with the food/washing up/rubbish etc etc. I would smile and say 'okay' but inside I would be fuming and fighting the urge to say 'ARE YOU STUPID?!, CAN'T YOU SEE I HAVE TAKEN REFUGE HERE, I WANT PEACE AND QUIET, MAYBE I OUGHT TO HAVE A T SHIRT ON THE SAYS 'UCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE', MAYBE THEN YOU WOULD TAKE THE BLOODY HINT', but, ho hum I never did. The only way I got to escape my family was to get admitted to a mental hospital, a little extreme I know, but it worked and I had peace and quiet for months!!! haha.

If you are there for 3 days, escape routines would be taking a long time in the bathroom, lieing in the morning. Volunteering to get stuff from the shop, though theres always the risk of someone offering to come with you. Stick your nose in a magazine or book. Go to bed early. Find the person you like the most and stick with them, you never know you may make a good friend. I dont drink much, so I do find drunks a pain in the bum, what they think amusing is rather boorish, and carrying on a story or joke thats way past its sell by date.

You will find escape routes, but how long they will last who knows. Just keep taking deep breaths and try to get to know at least one person you like the look of, kids are entertaining so maybe you will end up playing in the sandpit with them, kids dont have a 'bullshitometer' so they are great to mix with at times like these. Though for nappy changes I would hand them straight back to mom.

Good Luck


Edited by glassslipper, 03 July 2010 - 05:11 PM.

#3 natoking

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Posted 05 July 2010 - 10:43 PM

Maria's advice is always so good. I might add taking those treasured afternoon naps ;). Hopefully you can talk to your boyfriend about this ahead of time so he won't leave you hanging in an uncomfortable situation. There may be others there who are new and uncomfortable as well. I hope you meet someone there that you really like and feel comfortable with.