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substituting addiction for addiction

self harm cutting alcoholism addiction smoking depression anxiety

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#1 Maxxx

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Posted 23 August 2014 - 06:19 AM

I'm so new to this site, I don't know what I'm doing, but any kind of feedback or advice or anything would be appreciated. 

I abuse alcohol, and I smoke - trying to work on both of those, but with every bit of progress I make there, my ability to restrain myself from self-harm decreases. I hadn't self harmed in over a year (when I put out around 10 cigarettes on my wrist at once) and had channeled any urges I felt into something a bit more creative: stick and poke tattooing (which I know can be just as dangerous, but at least I was putting positive messages and art on my body). 

But now I'm cutting at least once every day, with knives, scissors, razors.. anything sharp I can find. 

Cutting is new to me, I don't know why I'm doing it except that it feels good, and easily replaces cravings for cigarettes or alcohol.

I feel like I'm substituting my addiction (I guess dependence would be a better word there) to booze and smokes with a dependence to cutting.

Rationally I don't want this, but I don't seem to have the willpower to stop.

My life feels really big and scary right now and being able to handle the pain of cutting makes me feel like I can handle anything else life throws my way, it makes me feel stronger, but I know that true strength would be dealing with my depression & anxiety any other way.


Help me please

Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: self harm, cutting, alcoholism, addiction, smoking, depression, anxiety