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no ambition

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#1 A.Lone

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Posted 20 July 2015 - 12:28 PM

The bottom line is I've got very little ambition and seem to be losing any I have more all the time - am even forcing myself to do this post.


I'm in my mid 50's, live alone, no friends, don't care for my job (to say the least) and don't trust anyone at work.  Am also about to lose health insurance, but haven't done anything to check out getting my own.  


Am taking Klonapam (probably more than I should to deal with work) and generic Effexor.  Also adult Multi-vitamins, Stress B-Complex & D3 - those don't seem to work.  Tough to see a doctor/shrink because my boss feels if I need mental meds to work, I shouldn't be working there (plus tough getting time off to see one).


Have tried riding my bike for about 9 months now, but that exercise doesn't seem to help. Depression Support groups don't seem to help either.


Drawbacks are lousy eating habits and smoking, which at my age I don't anticipate those changing.


Am just tired of doing nothing like my checkbook, taking trash out, or any other simple tasks.  Having to FORCE myself to do these things seem to make my depression worse.


Wish there was a miracle pill to help me feel better.  Does anyone have any miracle advice?